Okay! Heres my cosplay plans for Megacon 2012!!

Friday -- Odette Ver. Princess Tutu
Saturday -- New52 Catwoman
Sunday -- Still wondering! Might repeat tutu or catwoman, or wear The Bride from Kill Bill or Mami. Depends!

Other con wise Im really only planning on AFO and D*C. AFO because its really tradition at this point and holds a sentimental spot in my heart, and D*C because it is literally the best con Ive ever went to,a dn greatly enjoy it! I might try and make it to SuperCon as well.

I usually make a point and try and make it to as many cons as possible, but I don't think thats what Ill be dong this year. Ill be sticking to the big hitters I enjoy (Mega and D*C) and those that are just plan sentimental (AFO). I really wish I could attend NYCC this year but I just don't think that will happen. Some day it will though!

I also have a bad habit of wanting to get a lot of costumes done per year, and realized that I don't re-wear a lot of costumes and thats just a huge waste. So Im only doing to do costumes that really mean something to me and I can be truly passionate and proud about.... which is what I should of been doing from the very start.

For example all I really see myself doing is Inori from Guilty Gear, one or two video game cosplays, and a lot of comic cosplays such as Batwoman and Dawn. Comics are my true passion, they have been since childhood and comic cosplays are really what bring me the most joy and bring me closer to a community I feel more at home with.

Another part on my cut back is health issues. Im dealing with a lot, that just seem to get worse. I don't want to get into it because its really something I rather not talk about or post on the internet because hey its my health and its personal and that whole what not. I will say though that I do have chronic disease that is making me slowly go deaf. Ive lost about 80% of my hearing already in one ear which (this may sound silly) but is making me even more of a shy and socially reclused person. I think its because I get embarrassed that I cant hear/ understand people most of the time and get embarrassed explaining it, and that I feel bad about it as well.

It makes me really nervous for conventions. Not only does loud settings cause physical pain, but obviously a big part of them is interacting with others and I really would rather not seem distant or bitchy to others if I "ignore" them cause I cant hear them or come off as distant or cold in conversation. Its my natural habit to nod and agree in conversation if I miss a part of it because I get embarrassed about asking someone to repeat what they said, because usually I still cant understand it. Plus I have other things going on / side affects to medications that make me fatigued and easily tired a lot. Which also makes cons hard.

So the anxiety about social situations and conventions is making me even more nervous. But at the same time I get so excited with them. I LOVE cosplaying, I LOVE seeing so much other cosplays, I LOVE the opportunity to meet new people (famous or not!) and I LOVE sharing my hobby and passions with others that feel the same. I obviously don't want to give up cosplay and conventions but its getting hard to stay enchanted with it when it becomes more and more of a physical struggle for me.

Okay wow.
This turned into a huge rant / whine. Im sorry for you that had to read that but I needed that catharsis! Now that thats out, Its time for me to suck it up and solider on!

Hope to see some of you guys at Megacon! if youre going comment and tell me what youre wearing! Hopefully we can meet up!

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